My wish is for you to know this depth...

Sometimes I wish, that I had a choice in the matter when it was decided for me who I had to deal with on a regular basis.

Some people will just never mesh well.... I know this now. I mean you always stay positive, because its better than hopelessness, but reality is its just never going to be a pretty little package of perfection. Please stop trying to make it such.

I wish you would just accept the same, it would make it Oh so much easier for the whole situation.

Because your relentless dreams of a gorgeous exterior, but absolutely no intention to improve the lack-luster and cold interior is sheer agony to me.

This is why it feels like oil and water.

Because I cannot make myself fake and shallow for simply the sake of your comfort.

And in all truthfulness me faking a surface level interaction that you seem to crave so badly, is not at all what you need.

You crave the real deal.

You crave a deep, healthy, close and realistic relationship with us.

And you cannot obtain that unless you give it.

I cannot mask my convictions and my passion, God has instilled these qualities in me for a specific purpose.

So you simply cannot be angry with me because I always try to stick to the genuine, raw, realistic, and sometimes messy, deep human relationship and interactions.

This is the way God wired me, and He did so for His will.

I do all I can to stay optimistic and understanding of your upbringing that seems to be where these dysfunctional thoughts and tendencies arise, but I am human and some days I am to weak and worn out to be as patient with you as other days.

I pray for you to see what amazing attributes God would instill into your mind and your life if you would simply ask for them and embrace them despite the faulty thinking you may have grown up with, it really is never too late to teach an old dog new tricks...